Is there something big you would like to change? Does the feeling of uncertainty keep you frozen and unable to make decisions?
Perhaps you would like to –
You may have thought about it all for some time and visualized the perfect outcome.
But taking that new path frightens you so much that you could not begin to contemplate actually doing it.
No doubt you are not able to see into the future to know the exact path you would need to take.
But looking back you may see that you really have given up and you believe in the dream and not in your ability to make it real.
For you, "the unknown" has convinced you that the path to your visualized outcome is too difficult so the outcome remains just a dream.
By its very nature it is not something which we can plan for in our lives, how can we; it is the very essence of unpredictability.
For most of us isn’t it our greatest wish and desire to create predictability on the way to our goals so that what we feel will cause us the least pain, so we can live with comfort, happiness and security?
Security and predictability is what we all seek, that is why we try to organize things for a “best perfect” outcome.
We don’t like it when things become uncontrollable.
Don’t we want to be the “controller” of the “best perfect” outcome by believing we must sort, calculate, and predict outcomes enabling that happiness and security?
Because of this we can get incredibly knocked back when circumstances throw us off the path of our predictions.
We can become angry, upset, blame all sorts of things and may even give up with anger and frustration.
Simply put we are uncomfortable not knowing what an “outcome” could be and fear of a possible “bad” outcome can take over.
We may find we become somewhat comfortable if we try to minimize uncertainty down to a number of possible outcomes and usually amongst these possibilities is “failure”.
Even the possibility of failure can then become broken down into what could be the possible outcomes of failure.
So even in failure we are seeking certainty.
All of us at some stage in our lives experience the unpredictable, we can have unpredictability with:
And yet there are people who will go head first into uncertainty e.g. give up job security “the well paid job” to go into business not really knowing what final outcome might be.
On the other hand not knowing can prevail even in the “the well paid job” which can easily cease to exist, e.g. the company closes down unexpectedly.
We can experience high levels of doubt in many of these situations causing great fear, depression, anxiety and criticism of self and by others.
When you think about it it’s an obvious truth of life that everything changes - bringing insecurity with it. But if we really accept this a certain freedom can emerge.
Like Pema Chödrön says ".... We no longer believe that there are people who have managed to avoid uncertainty"
Is it not comforting to know you are not alone in facing the unknown?
It is part of life so therefore it is part of all our lives.
So when accepting this we need to know how to use lack of certainty to our advantage.
In really accepting "the unpredictable" we can use it to make life exciting.
“We need only look around to see that the blind certainty so many of us possess is responsible for creating tension and unrest in our lives instead of flow”.
When beginning something new and forming your intention to achieve an outcome it is the strength of that intention coupled with a leap of faith, patience and trust that will enable you to keep on going.
But your progression to that outcome will be laced with the unpredictable and many times with criticism or judgement from others.
But if you can accept "the unpredictable" and hold the mindset that your intention – or something better - will emerge from your endeavors you can reduce the tension of being attached to only one outcome.
Detaching yourself from seeing it as failure if your exact intention is not realized will help you to even build excitement around what the outcome will be.
The quality or intensity of how much you require an outcome and how well you know yourself in an unpredictable situation can greatly enhance or impede the strength of your original intention.
Having an intention which you feel is far outside your comfort zone the way forward is to take baby steps by setting goals on the way towards that desired outcome.
In achieving these steps you will find yourself dealing with many things that you can handle.
Yet even as you go towards your outcome doubt will still exist.
But if your intention stays very strong you can minimize what that doubt can do to you because you become very focused with that strong intention.
Any criticism can be felt as pain but feeling that emotion is a signal to use the criticism as excellent information to allow for change; this is finding opportunity in perceived adversity and here you can in fact embrace "the unpredictable"
This does not mean you accept all criticism as valid or even necessary, remember your ego and that of the person criticizing may be at play here.
So it is important not to let what you might see as unfair criticism harden your attachment to the one outcome you may have originally envisaged.
Embracing the unpredictable can allow really positive and sometimes unexpectedly good outcomes.
We tend to associate unpredictability with negativity and bad outcomes because that’s what our thoughts have us believe.
But if you channel your thought to a better more flexible attitude you will notice a shift beginning inside you and you will be able to accept (surrender) outcomes on the way as messages or pointers for the next step forward.
Sometimes these messages will not seem like part of the original plan.
But that is the secret - watch for it – even the path to your original intention and goal may be completely different than you imagined.
This is fascinating to be part of, and it eliminates the fear of unpredictability. You will reach your outcome - stick with it all.
There will be points of stress but find a way to keep that new attitude and keep positive even when you think things are going off course.
It sounds like a cliché but take time out even just for little things
like; taking a walk, meeting a friend, reading a book, listening to
music, taking a luxurious bath, 20 minutes meditation which will get you
in touch with yourself.
All this sort of thing is to get your chatterbox (ego) to leave you alone so you can get some peace, quiet.
On many of these occasions of “time out” you can get answers to situations right out of the blue.
And there will be a tipping point where all things start to come
together and you become definite and you will have achieved something
that you really wanted and love.
Not everyone gets an opportunity to live the life they love and enjoy, but when you can dream big, know yourself and embrace uncertainty you will start to live a life you deserve and have a right to.