Fear Of Failure

Fear of failure is something most of us may not even associate with real fears but rather we can just feel bad and or disappointed when we believe we have failed.

So.. where does fear of failure come in -

When you are at a certain stage like the beginning or the middle of doing something perhaps for the first time, and you find yourself out of your comfort zone the feeling of fear can be very big while you are trying to achieve a planned outcome.

We tend at these two stages to visualize and consider the failed outcomes with all sorts of chatter going on in our heads. We picture and chat in our mind about all the possible negative outcomes.

We can also feel this fear when we decide there is something we desire from life like wishing for a new car, house, or job etc. We can present ourselves with all sorts of scenarios why any one of these could never happen.

This fear of failure creates boundaries and limitations to live within and many of us will not step outside of these. In fact we can be very comfortable doing “the not doing” and even complain about why things do not happen.

Next time something comes along outside your comfort zone look on and hear your head starting to examine all the reasons why you shouldn't set out to change or create.

Then you may line up all these reasons so you can protect yourself and not experience any failure.

This is fear of failure creating uncertainty and this is you getting in your own way.

You may be very surprised at the very small things you create as obstacles for not subsequently doing.

Because of this your wishes, dreams and hopes may never be achieved. This can be referred to as laziness or procrastination.

I do not believe that there is such a thing as laziness -  just fears and this particular one being fear of failure.

Failure

Life is full of opposites look at the list below and see; each is the opposite of the other

  • Failure - Success
  • Sad - Happy
  • Death - Birth
  • Dark - Light

Now imagine for just a little while, a life in which just the left side of the list existed for you; you would not actually be able to experience the right side of the list because you would know no other way of being.

Now put the two sides back together and you can experience opposites.

For instance if you have only ever felt and experienced sadness; you would not be able to recognize and experience happiness.

So too with failure unless you experience what you perceive as failure you cannot know true success.

Recognizing Fear of Failure

As I mentioned above we can feel this fear while being in the middle of something new or just starting it.

This can be a somewhat difficult place to be, even painful. I refer to this as being a bit twisted where it seems the body feels like one half of it is going forwards with what needs doing and the other half wants to run away.

This is how you can recognize the fear of failure or you could also call it the fight or flight mode.

Fight or Flight........

When we are faced with a difficult situation this is when our primal instinct kicks in.

This is natural as we feel the need to physically protect ourselves. Our body then prepares itself to flee or fight in this dangerous situation.

But our heads do not distinguish between real physical danger and mind created fears.

Because of this we constantly put ourselves in a fight or flight mode when this is not necessary.

Constantly being in this defense mechanism can lead to a twisted or tense body. This can even lead to ill health.

This fight or flight mode can become very obvious when a difficult situation arises in our lives. In such circumstances I am sure you have often been known to say - "this is all too much to cope with".

My mother had a lovely saying when things got too much for her and I now use in fun myself it was:

“I am going to jump up and never come down again”

This represented her initial flight mode to help her cope with overcoming fear.

How to Eliminate This Fear

There are no failures there are just experiences in life.

Furthermore in believing you have failed at something you may have eliminated what doesn't work and identified the need to do something differently. And that can only be good.

Now you can use your fears and your "failures" to best advantage.

  1. Understand there is such a thing as fear of failure and it could be what is stopping you from achieving.
  2. Recognize that the physical feeling of being "twisted" during your actions is a message on your path towards freedom from fear and success.
  3. You need to be brave and set about and learn how to overcome fear.
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